Patreon Bonus Comics

Thanks to the generosity of donors to Patreon, I release two bonus comics a month!

(Click the images to view them full-size!)



Secret words:
''I don't know how many times I need to tell you this, but we only accept hair from the following approved areas: the scalp. We had to thoroughly wash and sterilize the skin of 49 children after your arm hair debacle of 2009.''
 



Secret words:
Ronnie considered engaging her in an in-depth discussion of Magical Science Maidens Attack, the anime on which her costume was themed, but he noticed an error. Ryukoi didn't get the power mantle until season 2 when she is clearly wearing a season 1 transformation. ''She has probably only watched the series once,'' he brooded.
 

Secret words:
I feel that I must specify. The human is my girlfriend. The elephant, haha, is not. You see, I am of a rotund feature set. Therefore, it would be humorous, edging nigh on hilarious, that I would be dating a baby elephant. However, dating both elephants and babies is illegal, and extremely frowned upon on zoo premises.
 

Secret words:
One time I was in a house-drawing contest with a 7 year old. His drawing was clearly set in the spring, but there was a squiggly line coming from the house's chimney. I made sure to explain to him, at length, that burning wood for heat in the warmer months contributes to global warming, and that his drawing was part of the problem. I won the contest by default when he cried and begged his mother to take him home.
 

Secret words:
My grandfather always said, "There's no wrong way to play with a tater." He then gave me a finely-grown russet, and it was my best friend for years until it was destroyed in a struggle with the therapist who was trying to take it away from me.
 

Secret words:
You'd think that it would be enough to just use mightier string to hold the buttons in place, but then the fabric rips and tears in response. You mighty the fabric until you find that you're just wearing chain mail, and I already get enough attention with my hangbelly without gaining a reputation for the most chivalrously-garbed blubbo.
 

Secret words:
Mrs. Johnson, hold my calls. I am just too darn busy with slapping my belly in tune to the opening drum of Dire Straits's "Money For Nothing."
 

Secret words:
I also made you this rubber band ball. It took forever, and isn't as good as a real rubber ball. I also made you this caterpillar. It's a single pipe cleaner I bent slightly to look like a caterpillar. What do you even want as a gift? A cigar? Because I can't make cigars.
 

Secret words:
Sure you start strong. You eat six pieces on the first day, but by day six, you're on a government list for throwing the fun fruity shapes over a fence into an elementary school playground.
 
2015-05-09-Begrudge-A-Book-By-Its-Cover
Secret words:
Maybe I'm being unreasonable, here, Agrias. Maybe this guy 'Steve' really can draw the heck out of a sugoi bishoujo. Maybe penguins CAN fly, and maybe I WON'T eat chocolate peanut clusters until my legs fall off and I need someone to drag me over to my stash of chocolate peanut clusters, but those seem a bit improbable, now don't they?
 
2015-04-18-Aw-Manga
Secret words:
You think you're the first Ronnie I've phased away from? Haha. Imagine a Ronnie whose every waking moment is porcelain figurines of crying clowns. Imagine a man who writes fanfiction about their complex, romantic relationships with one another. Now imagine a motivation dude who would relish in that world in comparison to living with you.
 
2015-04-11-According-To-Kei-coke-ku
Secret words:
Now you're thinking, "I know your game, sodaboy, so I will cut you off at the pass. I will have your finest brown cola, sir." You amuse the fizz czar with your antics. He will bring you a drink you haven't partaken since an emotional time in your life. The memories rush back. Your tears flow. Fizz Czar is sustained again.
 
2015-03-14-Game-And-Shame
Secret words:
If I encounter a person who I believe may have an inkling of the look of Chinese lettering, I will then explain that the symbol represents the child of Batman and Spider-man in this fanfiction I wrote where their mutual love brings together the DC and Marvel universes. They usually stop talking to me, which solves the problem.
 
2015-03-07-Rearing-Its-Zed
Secret Words:
All I wanted was to make a character who is like me. Strong, smart, handsome, outgoing, and an all-around winner with a keen taste in fashion and hair that stylists dream of touching. Instead, I made this guy - a character even greater than my original vision.
 
2015-02-14-Leak-Your-Mind
Secret Words:
I shall now go into the mountains to hide until the day that society forgets about the random fat guy at the charity table who had a slip of the tongue and proceeded to cry on the ground for 20 minutes blubbering the words, 'Sorry about diseases.'
 
2015-02-07-Seating-Derangement
Secret Words:
We could sit here all day peeing on this love seat - I mean, I've done that - but I have refrigerators to sell. None of them have shelves, their compressors run all of the time, and one of them has a foot in it, and no one wants to be the guy who has to throw away an old dead foot.